There comes a time when you realize maybe you don’t want to do everything on your own. You’re riding along on life’s adventures seemingly missing nothing; happy to be free and make your own choices. Then something happens…. And you realize, maybe you do need more that your furry cats.
Friday night, as I was curled up on the couch with one of the cats and a giant glass of wine, Facebook Messenger flashed at me. I glanced at the name and thought to myself, “who the hell is that?” It was not a name I recognized right off… Elia. I looked again and it clicked. It was a guy from the gadventures.com forum. When I was planning my Croatia trip, I went on the forum to see who else might be doing the same trip. He replied, but after a few messages, realized he was with the group arriving the day we left. Ok.. Have a good trip! That was that.
But here was this message, 3 months later… “Hi Mary, How was your Croatia trip?” Harmless enough, so I replied. We chit chatted a bit about our trips.
He commented, “Unfortunately, we weren’t on the same trip.” His trip was a YOLO trip, a trip gadventures.com caps at age 39 I think, so I knew he was young. I told him I was too old for his trip.
His reply, “No ur such a good-looking woman. U Look like 24 :).”
Now, I remembered him being from Switzerland, and looking at the clock, realized it was around 3:30 am there. Was I being drunk messaged from Switzerland???
I asked about the time and yes, he had just gotten in from a fun evening of billiards and bowling, so I’m assuming he’d had a few. Ok, a little flattery from someone isn’t a bad thing I guess. Conversation didn’t go much longer than that. So that was interesting.
Saturday rolls around, it’s rainy and I have no plans other than laundry, vacuuming, cat brushing… I thought I would be funny and shoot him a message asking if he got his sleep…. Not expecting a reply. Well, I started a conversation that went the entire day. He was messaging me while I worked on my blog at the coffee shop (later he asked if I blogged about our conversation… )
During the course of this, I discover he is all of 21 years old. YIKES!!!!! I was thinking he was at least 26…not that that’s any better. He was interesting to chat with, very polite and funny, travels a lot… he actually looks like Chandler Bing – I’m not kidding in the least about that. But 21????? Lord. I asked if he realized I was old enough to be his mother. Yes, but he didn’t care because we really didn’t know each other and we are on different continents and he enjoys talking to older, mature women…..Hmmm… Is that European thing?
Now let me say right now… I AM NOT A COUGAR!!! I would never go out with anyone in their twenties, they have to at least be 35 (I kid, let’s make it 38..). But I have to confess, it’s been fun chatting with him. He’s very sweet and he really knows what to say to a girl (mature woman) and what not to say. It felt good.
Is it wrong to be friends with someone of the opposite sex who is much younger? I have girlfriends that are much younger than me and that’s not a problem. I think talking with people from different places and different ages keeps things interesting. Besides, at this point in my life, if I want to go out with other singles… most of them will be younger… that’s just reality. Why is it so weird when the female is the older person? I like to think of myself as young at heart. Maybe, because I don’t have children, I am more open-minded about these types of situations? I don’t know.
Just having someone express an interest lifted my spirits on a yucky, rainy day. It also irritates me though… where was a guy like this when I was 21? Ugh.. So, thank you Elia, you have made me think. Maybe I am missing something. I’ve been so preoccupied with being a happy, “I don’t need a man”, single woman, that your cheeky charm caught me way off guard. I am happy and it’s been a good year with new adventures, but it’s been a long time since I’ve had someone say nice things to me, make me laugh and feel desirable. Yes, it’s a little creepy if I think about the age (I’m pretending he’s older) I haven’t completely lost my mind, but it makes me question if this is my sign that it’s time to enter the dating world again? Maybe so.