The Move

Monday, May 2

My body feels like it’s been through a major workout and looks like it’s been beat, but all of my crap is moved!  And boy, do I have a lot of crap. It’s been an exhausting couple of days. Makes me truly admire people who live in tiny houses!

So the actual move went well.  The moving guys were great.  Two thumbs up to Two Men and a Truck (actually took 3 men to move all my stuff).  They were so nice and laughing and friendly.  Don’t think I would be like that if I had to move people everyday for a living… and they had another job after mine.  Just goes to show you, mood and attitude means a ton.

I have so much crap, I had to make two more trips on Sunday.   That was not planned and not a welcome thought after all the moving Saturday.  Every time I thought I had everything, I saw something else. I also had to clean…. ugh.. and wrangle the cats and get them moved.

I have two cats.  Cats are not fond of change, and mine are not fond of being confined and riding in a car.  So second endorsement coming here… kudos to Cat-in-a-bag.  I saw this video on Facebook about Cat-in-a-Bag… a canvas bag with a neck at one end with a Velcro strap for tightening and a zipper at the other end.  The premise is that the cat does not feel quite as confined with the head being free and the bag is big enough for them to move their legs. It’s supposed to keep them a little calmer.  The video kitties had no problem having something slipped over their heads… mine, well, lets just say it took a little more coaxing, but once in and I got them situated in the car they seemed ok.  There wasn’t much howling.  No freaking  out until I got them out of the car and was carrying them inside.  For a few hours, Spot (yes that’s his name) would not come out of his bag and Angel (these were the names they came with) hung out in the bathtub.

When I finally sat down last night, I remembered I did not clean out my freezer at the apartment and I think I left a clock on the wall.  Keys were already turned in… I also checked my email.  Trying to be on top of things, I had placed a flower delivery order for Mother’s Day.  To my surprise, there was a delivery confirmation… they were delivered yesterday.  Obviously I was not thinking straight when I placed that order.  Oh well, the thought was there.

So here are my tips for moving to anyone getting ready to do so:

1.  Make sure you have wine..
2. Do not pack the corkscrew.
3. Have frozen pizza available… when it’s 8:00 pm and you’re tired and hungry, it hits the spot along with that wine.
4. Mark the box with the coffee pot and coffee in LARGE, BOLD letters and put a coffee cup in with them. Make sure you know where that box is.
5. Before you unpack anything, makeup your bed, hang your shower curtain and get your soap out.  When you are ready to shower and drop in your bed, its done.
6. Have a sense of humor.
7. Most importantly, have awesome friends that help you. I have two that have helped me every single time I’ve moved. I LOVE them.

 

 

Lists

I’ve had so much going on this past month, I’ve been making lists. It’s not unusual for me to make a list, but the amount of lists is getting ridiculous.  I always have a list of things to do at work.  I’m responsible for such a wide variety of things and am constantly interrupted; lists give me a little stability.  With the move and my impending week off, I also created a “things to do early,” list which consists of reports that are usually due the first week of the month, out-of-office messages etc.

Of course, I have a “townhouse closing” list, listing all the inspections, forms to go to the lender, calls to make regarding power and cable, line-up moving truck etc. You get it. Thankfully, most of that has been marked off the list.  The biggest part of having a list is the satisfaction of marking things off of it.  There’s a sense you are making headway; there’s light at the end of the tunnel.  I’ve been known to add things to a list after it’s completed just so I can mark it off.  Now I have a “things left to do” list…. Items I didn’t think about on the “townhouse closing” list. There’s also a list of what to take to the closing. The rate I’m going, I’ll have to create a list of lists to keep them straight.

This morning, I had an email from my realtor. The Seller’s wanted to know if we could move the closing date to next week.  What??? Heck no, that would mean more lists:  things to undo and then redo for the new closing date.

2 days to closing… 3 days to move…. just get me through without losing a list… or my mind.

 

The Gown

Two weeks ago, I began the process of cleaning out; pulling things out from closets and under beds in preparation for packing and moving. Several things were hiding I haven’t thought about in a while.  Out of sight, out of mind.

My wedding portrait was one of those items under the bed. It was a Christmas gift from my mother in 2010.  Three months later, I was separated.  The portrait was never hung.  So it here was in front of me again.  And again, as I did 2 ½ years ago, wondered what in the hell to do with it. I posted on FB for feedback (I needed non-biased opinions).  I got 27 comments on that post. But one friends’ comment really resonated with me.  She suggested I keep it, but give it to my mom saying, “There’s old and negative energy attached to it.  Having it in your space is holding on to bad “juju.”…Keeping that around may be hampering efforts to move forward in your life, particularly in your love life…” Do I believe in bad mojo or “juju” as she said?  I’m not sure, but I do know my dating luck has been horrible.  I started really thinking about this.

This lead to more purging. I dug out my wedding gown (stock photo above), which has been stashed in the back of a closet for 10 years.  Again, what to do with it?  I have no daughter or nieces that would ever want it and they are very hard to sell.  Yet, it’s the most expensive item of clothing I’ll ever own and I paid for it myself. One friend suggested we have a paint ball fight in it. HA… I’m not angry anymore and the gown didn’t cause the demise of my marriage. I thought it deserved better than being dumped at a thrift store.  I started researching places to donate wedding gowns.

This past Friday, I came across some charities accepting old wedding dresses to make “angel gowns.” Angel gowns are outfits for still-born babies or babies that never make it home from the hospital.  They may either be a burial gown or a keepsake for the family.  A friend lost a baby just last year; together, we found a place to donate my dress.   I wanted to keep it as local as possible and found a seamstress in Raleigh accepting gowns to make the angel dresses.   That night, I also decided to take the portrait to my mom’s, along with the wedding photo albums.  I felt a huge load off of my heart almost immediately.

I woke up Saturday morning ready to do more purging. I found a box for the wedding dress.  I packed it and taped it up.  Without much warning, the tears started flowing.  I probably cried for a good 10 minutes.  And I didn’t even know why.

I wasn’t like most little girls. I never dreamed of my wedding day or wearing a wedding dress.  I didn’t take hours upon hours shopping for it and I didn’t cry when I bought it (that well-known scene from Say Yes to the Dress where the bride is so overcome that she’s found THE dress).  And I knew it had nothing to do with the marriage.  I was done with that the minute I kicked him out the door.  So why all this emotion??  I pondered that the rest of the day and into Sunday.

I believe the stress of packing and moving, on top of the recent (and past) bad dating experiences, lead to a slap-in-the-face realization and strong possibility I may never wear another wedding gown or find that special someone.  Letting go of this gown was letting go of something I may never have again.  Very hard to swallow, even for someone who never really thought of having one to begin with. It was truly an exhausting day.

I feel better today. I dropped the portrait and albums off at moms and the gown is in the mail.  I said my farewell.  Maybe my prince will come; maybe he’s fallen into quick sand.  It really doesn’t matter.  None of that possible bad “juju” will be entering my new home.

The seamstress said she would send a picture of the angel gowns when they are complete. Maybe this was the gown’s true calling and it was just waiting for me to let it go.